quotes of entertainment's topics - tribe.net

Predicting the Future

2007-08-11T21:28:09Z

"Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of ram!?" -- Bill Gates, 1981

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." -- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." -- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." -- The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?" -- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." -- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." -- Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

quotes you just want to share that don't have a category

2007-05-14T19:59:46Z

I stand for love. And I also stand for justice. And in the name of the Moon, I will punish you!

You think the paperboy likes you just because he rides by your front door every morning! -Sailor Moon

Bottoms up!
[drinks the potion]
But first, a warning!
NOW a warning?! -Death Becomes Her

posted in quotes of entertainment - 49 replies

School

2006-05-04T03:23:43Z

Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog. —Samuel Clemens, 1900

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

Wonderfalls

2006-04-04T15:42:36Z

Wonderfalls Security Guard: [after catching the little boy shoplifting]
You have choices, life choices. This was a bad life choice. That's why you're in an unpleasant situation. Unpleasant situations can be avoided by making good life choices.

Jaye: I have to disagree. I make good life choices. Mostly because they're forced on me, but I make them. And I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We're all fate's bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

2005-12-16T23:46:45Z

We're all wired into a survival trip now.
No more of the speed that fueled the sixties.
That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.
He crashed around amerika selling consciousness
Expansion to anyone who would listen.
All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy
Peace and Understanding for 3 bucks a hit.
But their failure, is ours too, because what Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole lifestyle he helped create.
A generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers,
Who never understood the essential old mystic fallacy of the acid culture,
That desperate assumption that someone,
Or at least some Force,
Was tending the light at the end of the tunnel.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

All you need is love

2005-11-01T20:45:15Z

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
- - - - John Barrymore

Love is always either increasing or decreasing.
- - - - Andreas Capellanus

We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage.
- - - - Albert Camus

Give me more love or more disdain;
The torrid or the frozen zone;
Bring equal ease unto my pain;
The temperate affords me none.
- - - - Thomas Carew

Of all the pain, the greatest pain,
Is to love, but to love in vain.
- - - - Abraham Cowley

Love is a power too strong to be overcome by anything but flight.
- - - - Miguel de Cervantes

Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion.
- - - - Ninon de Lenclos

Love does not consist in gazing at each-other but in looking together in the same direction.
- - - - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
- - - - Walt Disney

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
- - - - Robert Frost

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun.
- - - - Matt Groening

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.
- - - - Cynthia Heimel

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
- - - - Dorothy Parker

Love is a reciprocal torture.
- - - - Marcel Proust

Men have died from time to time, and the worms have eaten 'em, but not for love.
- - - - William Shakespeare "As You Like It"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

kids say the darndest things

2005-10-25T04:10:52Z

Kids' Ideas About Love

Kids, aged 5 to 10, were asked questions about what they thought of love and marriage. Here's what they said.

Love and Marriage:

* "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

* "Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9

* "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

* "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9

* "Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

* "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

* "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -- Mike, 10

* "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when Dinosaurs is on television." -- Jill, age 6

* "One of the people has freckles, and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -- Andrew, age 6

* "My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That's what I'll do. I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome." -- Carolyn, age 8

* "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -- Kenny, age 7

* "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." -- Ava, age 8

* "When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced.'" -- Anita, 9

* "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10

* "Most men are brainless, so you might have to try more than once to find a live one." -- Angie, age 10

* "A man and a woman promise to go through sickness and illness and diseases together." -- Marlon, age 10

* "[Being] single is better . . . for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd figure something out. I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." -- Kirsten, age 10

* "Love is foolish...but I still might try it sometime." -- Floyd, age 9

* "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." -- Dave, age 8

Kissing:

* "When a person gets kissed for the first time, they fall down, and they don't get up for at least an hour." -- Wendy, age 8

* "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -- Jim, age 10

* "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -- Kally, age 9

* "You learn [how to kiss] right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." -- Doug, age 7

* "If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a new person, you have to ask permission." -- Roger, age 6

* "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you. That's why I stopped doing it." -- Tammy, age 10

* "I know one reason kissing was created. It makes you feel warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or fireplaces or even stoves in their houses." -- Gina, age 8

* "The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." -- Curt, age 7

* "The rules goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry her and have kids with her. It's the right thing to do." -- Howard, age 8

* (on seeing a couple kissing) "He is trying to steal her chewing gum!" -- Boy, age 6

Beauty:

* "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." -- Anita, age 8

* "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." -- Christine, age 9

* "It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything, and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." -- Brian, age 7

How People In Love Act:

* "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." -- Brad, age 8

* "They act mooshy. Like puppy dogs, except puppy dogs don't wag their tails nearly as much." -- Arnold, age 10

* "All of a sudden, the people get movies fever so they can sit together in the dark." -- Sherm, age 8

* "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they just broke up." -- Sarah, age 9

* "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are -- on fire." -- Christine, age 9

* "See if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." -- John, age 9

* "Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love." -- Craig, age 9

What Mom and Dad Have In Common:

* "Both don't want no more kids." -- Lori, age 8

How To Tell If Two People Are Married:

* "Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." -- Eddie, age 6

* "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." -- Derrick, age 8

Deciding Who To Marry:

* "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." -- Allan, age 10

* "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." -- Kirsten, age 10

Strategies For Making People Fall In Love With You:

* "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." -- Del, age 6

* "Shake your hips and hope for the best." -- Camille, age 9

* "Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and don't worry if their parents are right there." -- Manuel, age 8

* "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." -- Alonzo, age 9

* "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me." -- Bart, age 9

The Best Age To Get Married:

* "Twenty three is the best age because you know the person forever by then." -- Cam, age 10

* "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married!" -- Freddie, age 6

Good Advice About Love:

* "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." -- Dick, age 7

* "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." -- Lynnette, age 8

* "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!" -- Ricky, age 7

* "Don't forget your wife's name. That will mess up the love." -- Erin, age 8

* "Sensitivity don't hurt." -- Robbie, age 8

* "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." -- Erin, age 8

* "Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn't like picking what movie you want to watch." -- Natalie, age 9

What To Do When a First Date Turns Sour:

* "I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -- Craig, age 9

What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You":

* "The person is thinking: 'Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.'" -- Michelle, age 9

* "Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they finally got it out and said it, and now they can go eat." -- Dick, age 7

Why People In Love Often Hold Hands:

* "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off, because they paid good money for them." -- Gavin, age 8

* "They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing." -- John, age 9

Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:

* "'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'" -- Eddie, age 6

* "'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'" -- Larry, age 8

* "'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.'" -- Bob, age 9

* "'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'" -- Arnold, age 10

* "'Honey, I Got Your Curly Hair and Your Nintendo On My Mind.'" -- Sharon, age 9

* "'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!'" -- Will, age 7

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Fate's Bitch

2005-10-10T05:18:45Z

Wonderfalls Security Guard: [after catching the little boy shoplifting] You have choices, life choices. This was a bad life choice. That's why you're in an unpleasant situation. Unpleasant situations can be avoided by making good life choices.

Jaye: I have to disagree. I make good life choices. Mostly because they're forced on me, but I make them. And I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We're all fate's bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.

(From the TV show Wonderfalls, I just watched it on DVD and it was great. Another good show cancelled by Fox.)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Sports Quotes

2005-09-16T22:24:38Z

These are hilarious!!!

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the [2004] Summer Olympics that they would like to take back

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . . . Oh my God, what have I just said?"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

quote you want to officially retire

2005-09-09T20:50:57Z

The fava beans quote from Silence of the Lambs.

"I'll be back"

"May the force be with you"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Truth

2005-08-23T15:27:44Z

"All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Schopenhauer

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Day after first base

2005-08-23T02:51:53Z

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/3/4gavaler.html

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

On friendship

2005-08-18T13:06:37Z

Acquaintances are a sometimes thing, but friendships last forever.

A life truly blessed is one encircled by true friends.

Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves found everywhere. (from a greeting card)

Even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

It isn’t wise to count your friends on a sunny day, when the sky is blue and smiles come by the bushel. Instead wait for a storm, when the clouds roll in, and the day grows dark and laughter’s scarce. Whoever stands by you then deserves the name friend.

It’s really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers.

Let the seasons change as they may, but hold fast to true friends. (Also from a greeting card)

We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
~ Richard Bach, Illusions ~ (My favorite quote ever)

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.
~ Richard Bach ~

We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over. So in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over.
~ James Boswell ~

I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine myself, encourage me to grow.
~ Cher ~ (Amen)

It's the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
~ Marlene Dietrich ~

A friend is someone you don’t have to prove things to, and with whom you can be yourself, whatever that is. A friend is also someone who should be able to tell you you are being silly or brain-damaged or making poor decisions about something without you being upset and offended, like when the love of your life is taking you to the cleaners, and you are completely blind to it.
~ Joseph Franci ~

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for your family.
~ Jay McInerney ~

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
~ Anais Nin ~

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
~ Henri Nouwen, Out of Solitude ~

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

From some great women

2005-08-16T21:40:15Z

Inside every older lady is a younger lady –Wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
But I can usually shut her up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.>
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky-

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck-

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-

Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton-

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine-

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow!
-Kathy Buckley-

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country..
-Elayne Boosler-

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Vince Vaughn quotes

2005-08-11T14:29:10Z

"Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair. "

From my new fave slap stick comedy, Wedding Crashers. But there are some classics from Swingers, Made, and Old School. So what chu got?

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

mondegreens

2005-08-05T15:28:23Z

The following are bits and pieces of song lyrics that people have managed to mess up in a funny way.
They're called "mondegreens."

All my luggage, I will send to you.
Actual lyric: All my loving, I will send to you.
(Beatles)

Are you going to starve an old friend?
Actual lyric: Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
(Simon & Garfunkel)

A weenie wack a weenie wack a weenie wack.
Actual lyric: Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wee-ooh wim-o-weh.
(Tokens "The Lion Sleeps Tonight")

Baby come back, you can play Monopoly.
Actual lyric: Baby come back, you can blame it all on me.
(Player "Baby Come Back")

Baking carrot biscuits.
Actual lyric:Taking care of business.
(Bachman-Turner Overdrive "Takin Care Of Business")

Tape it to a biscuit.
Actual lyric: Taking care of business.
(Bachman-Turner Overdrive "Takin Care Of Business")

Bald headed woman.
Actual lyric:More than a woman.
(Bee Gees)

Four-legged woman.
Actual lyric:More than a woman.
(Bee Gees)

Big girl, small fry.
Actual lyric:Big girls don't cry.
(The Four Seasons)

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On Elvis

2005-08-03T02:49:12Z

The hair was a Vaseline cathedral, the mouth a touchingly uncertain sneer of allure. One, two-wham! Like a berserk blender the lusty young pelvis whirred and the notorious git-tar slammed forward with a jolt that symbolically deflowered a generation of teenagers and knocked chips off 90 million older shoulders. Then out of the half-melted vanilla face a wild black baritone came bawling in orgasmic lurches. Whu-huh-huh-huh f'the money! Two f'the show! Three t'git riddy naa GO CAAT GO!
- - - Brad Darrach, on Elvis Presley, Life, Winter, 1977

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Unique Personal Quote

2005-08-01T22:50:46Z

We all have moments of simplistic emotional clarity. At that moment I find I come up with my own personal "quotes of entertainment"...

an example... at the lowest point of my life I got pulled over for speeding.
I was quoted (by a friend) as saying it was the "cherry on the fu*k-me sunday".

That would be my personal quote of entertainment...

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

ani songs

2005-07-17T17:50:26Z

but you can't will yourself happy
you can't will your cunt wet
you can't keep standing at the station
pretending you're being met
you can't wear a sign that says 'yours'
when that ain't what you get
-callous

i love the way your stories seem to fall from your lips
with just enough slobber so it sparkles and drips
the way you hang the whole room on a word
like a little stick in the beak of a bird

first we touched fingers and then we touched toes
then my army surrendered
my government overthrown
i threw myself a little role reversal and followed you home
just dying to be chewed
the dog was chosen by the bone
-seeing eye dog

you confused your journey
with my journey
you tried to nail me
like minerva to your bow
but my job here
is not to deliver you
but to hold a mirror
till you see how
-minerva

but after my dreaded beheading
i tied that sucker back on with a string
and i guess i'm pretty different now
considering
-manhole

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

Willy Wonka

2005-07-17T09:18:34Z

Willy Wonka: Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and it is frowned upon in most societies.
______________________
Willy: These must be your *starts to vomit* p- p-

person in croud: parents?

Willy: yes.
______________________

parent: Do you often have flashbacks?

Willy: increasingly...today.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

book quotes and such

2005-07-16T21:49:12Z

Those things that hurt, instruct

Ben Franklin

posted in quotes of entertainment - 28 replies

exclusion

2005-07-15T19:38:00Z

I won't be ignored Dan.

Fatal Attraction

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

Favorite funny quotes

2005-07-05T05:54:51Z

What you've just said....is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response was there anything that could even be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it.

Billy Madison

posted in quotes of entertainment - 54 replies

woody allen

2005-07-02T22:23:02Z

And so I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Actually, make that "I run through the valley of the shadow of death" - in order to get OUT of the valley of the shadow of death more quickly

Anton: If you so much as come near the Countess, I'll see that you never see the light of day again.
Boris: If a man said that to me, I'd break his neck.
Anton: *I* am a man.
Boris: Well, I mean a much shorter man.

Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

Sonja: Don Francisco?
Don Francisco: Pardon me?
Sonja: I'm having trouble adjusting my belt. Do you think you could come over here and hold my bosom for a while?
Natasha: I never want to marry, I just want to get divorced.

Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.

Boris: I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves.

And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful standing here than you do in person.

Soldier: Oh, God is testing us.
Boris: If he's gonna test us, why doesn't he give us a written?

Inbedkov: [preparing for duel] We'll do it now... and to the death.
Boris: Oh no, I can't do anything to the death. Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition, and death is the worst thing for it.

Sonja: Oh don't, Boris, please. Sex without love is an empty experience.
Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best

do you have a lock of your sweetheart's hair?
No I have a lock of her husband's hair, it's the best I could do.

Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?
Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.

The bullet is lodged in his heart.
Is it serious? How long does he have?
with proper medical care...about 10 minutes.

-Love and Death

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

transvestite or the like

2005-07-02T22:10:03Z

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior?"

"No...but I...I love his work."

-Hedwick and the angry inch

posted in quotes of entertainment - 18 replies

Good old Oscar

2005-07-02T18:08:23Z

"I never came across anyone in whom the moral sense was dominant who was not heartless, cruel, vindictive, log-stupid, and entirely lacking in the smallest sense of humanity. Moral people, as they are termed, are simply beasts. I would sooner have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue."

Oscar Wilde

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

Cartoons

2005-06-27T01:44:24Z

Timmy Turner: Hi. I'm Timmy. I have a short attention span and...
[walks away]

Cosmo: Let's get one thing straight. I'm not bright. Big words confuse me. I have the attention span of a rodent, and Wanda loves me anyway. And that should be enough for you.

Young Bill Gates: I'll connect all the computers in the world. I'll call it the internet.
Cosmo: That's silly! You should call it the Timmy.
Young Bill Gates: Okay!

Mom Turner: Timmy, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day.

Wanda: Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cosmo: But three rights make a left.

Norm the Genie: Hold on there, Hunch Back of I've-Never-Spoken-To-A-Dame

Trixie Tang: You're 0.01% more of a person in my eyes.

Wanda: He thinks everything is funny. Watch.
[turns to Cosmo]
Wanda: Pudding.
Cosmo: HAHAHAHA. She said pud and then she said ding.

A.J.: My mom packed me spinach. She wants me to have a healthy colon. What did your mom pack you?
Timmy Turner: Candy!... And violence!

-"The Fairly OddParents" (2001)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 13 replies

not quotes

2005-06-20T05:31:03Z

but my favorite choreographed scenes:

In To Sir with Love when Sir dances at the prom

In Bring it on: the last sequence

In Drum Line when the college students have a dance off at the party and also the drum competition

In She's All That when Matthew Lillard dances for Real Life

In Napolean Dynomite at the highschool.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...the entire thing. Also Hero.

Shawn of the Dead...the Zombies Dance in unison on the street.

Flash Dance...the Ice Skating Scene.

Fame...the TV show anything with Coco in it.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

help

2005-06-19T07:53:33Z

I was watching a movie with Dudley Moore called "Romantic Comedy" from 1983; I typed up some lines from it, but there were so many more I loved and I can't find quotes online. Anyone _really_ good at finding quotes?

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

It can't be worse than Dogeball

2005-06-18T23:36:38Z

This is the _worst_ movie I saw this year...in fact I think it's the worst movie I ever saw. I challenge you people to come up with any movie that was worse.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

teaching

2005-06-18T23:32:43Z

to the class who are all gigglin:

Mark Thackeray: It seems that you know so little, and are so easily amused, that I can look forward to a very happy time.

-to sir with love

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

dancing or dance movies

2005-06-18T09:18:01Z

Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

Maddox

posted in quotes of entertainment - 11 replies

About television

2005-06-15T16:45:05Z

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.
- - - Fred Allen, CoEvolution Quarterly, Winter, 1977

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

What I think about sex

2005-06-14T15:23:20Z

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.
- - -Tallulah Bankhead (1972)

I've been taught ever since I was a kid that sex is filthy and forbidden, and that's the way I think it should be. The filthier and more forbidden it is, the more exciting it is.
- - -Mel Brooks, filmmaker

There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.
- - -George Burns

I have to physically attracted to someone. But I can't just be with someone just because it's great sex. Because orgasms don't last long enough.
- - Courteney Cox

Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
- - Billy Crystal

I should never have married, but I didn't want to live without a man. Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
- - Bette Davis

Personally I know nothing about sex because I've always been married.
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If I were asked for a one line answer to the question "What makes a woman good in bed?" I would say, "A man who is good in bed."
- - Bob Guccione (1978)

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
- - -Billy Joel

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
- - -Garrison Keillor

Sex appeal is 50 per cent what you've got and 50 per cent what people think you've got.
- - Sophia Loren

Everyone probably thinks that I'm a raving nymphomaniac, that I have an insatiable sexual appetite, when the truth is I'd rather read a book.
- - -Madonna (1991)

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.
- - -Norman Mailer (1992)

Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle.
- - Camille Paglia

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

entertaining people

2005-06-13T16:28:27Z

I am not denying anything I did not say.
- - -Brian Mulrooney

I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress.
- - -Jane Austen

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.
- - -Burt Reynolds

I'm no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove it.
- - -Victor Mature

There are two reasons why I'm in show business, and I'm standing on both of them.
- - -Betty Grable

Of all the things I've ever lost I miss my mind the most.
- - Steven Tyler

-submitted by my friend Neecer in my other tribe

posted in quotes of entertainment - 38 replies

Birthday

2005-06-12T18:55:10Z

I'm 35 wee.

Everything I know I learned after I was thirty.
Georges Clemenceau

Time and Tide wait for no man,
but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head
together and your body starts falling apart.
Caryn Leschen

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
Bette Midler

Thirty five is a very attractive age;
London society is full of women who have of their own
free choice remained thirty-five for years.
Oscar Wilde

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

thoughts on drugs & alcohol

2005-06-12T06:12:57Z

Cocaine habit forming? Of course not, I ought to know. I've been using it for years.
- - Tallulah Bankhead

I only drink to steady my nerves. Sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
- - W. C Fields

When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, I didn't like it, I didn't inhale it, and never tried it again.
- - William Jefferson Clinton

The only thing I thought might ever kill me off was clean living. I thought, "How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?"
- - Iggy Pop

You know, it's cigarettes that killed (Jerry) Garcia. Everyone thinks it's heroin, but it wasn't. It was cigarettes.
- - John Mellencamp, 1996

posted in quotes of entertainment - 7 replies

Bill Fucking Murray

2005-06-12T02:10:38Z

From Saturday Night Live to Lost in Translation (we will forget "Garfield" and as well as a few films Bill made in the 90's), but no one does it like Bill Murray, give it up for the man, the myth, the legend!

Some of my all time personal faves-

"You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you. "
- Rushmore

"It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst."
-Kingpin

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I."
- What about Bob?

"This is a hybrid. Came up with this myself, it's a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff."
- Caddyshack

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Just got here

2005-06-11T18:39:22Z

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
- - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I qouted her in a store last night and realized how old I really am when the young clerk gave me a blank look. He had no idea who she was.

Neecer

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

Bender

2005-06-11T01:27:08Z

I looooove Bender from Futurama! He has the best lines ever! For those who don't know- Bender is a robot that drinks beer, smokes cigarettes and swears.

When Fry moves into Bender's 'apartment' and they go to sleep for the night- Bender starts talking in his sleep

Bender: [while sleeping] Kill all humans, kill all humans, must kill all hu...
Fry: [shakes him] Bender wake up.
Bender: I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.
Fry: Listen, Bender, uh... where's your bathroom?
Bender: Bath-what?
Fry: Bathroom.
Bender: What room?
Fry: Bathroom.
Bender: What what?
Fry: Aaah, never mind.
[Bender shuts himself down to sleep, Fry lies on the floor]
Bender: [while sleeping] Hey, sexy mama... Wanna kill all humans?

Now- "kill all humans" is a euphamism for nookie with my gf and I to use in public and polite company.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Being a geek

2005-06-11T00:17:21Z

Neal- She's a cheerleader. You've seen Star Wars 47 times. You do the math.

Freaks and Geeks

Chris- I used to be you. My mom used to dress me in white shirts, and hush puppies and make me carry a brief case, guarantying a girl would never talk to me.

Real Genius

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

great speeches

2005-06-10T21:01:39Z

"I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it. I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship -- no pun intended -- but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that. But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not dismiss that -- at least for ten seconds -- and try to dwell in it. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this planet who's ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which -- while I do appreciate it -- I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of." Chasing Amy

posted in quotes of entertainment - 55 replies

Principals

2005-06-10T17:41:26Z

Denzel Crocker: [Principal Waxelplax has locked everyone inside the classroom] No! I can't be locked in a room with children! I'm not a people person! I'm barely a person!
[ducks behind his desk]
Denzel Crocker: HELP!

-fairly oddparents

posted in quotes of entertainment - 16 replies

dumb comedies that are hilarious

2005-06-09T23:01:19Z

You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. - Hot Shots

posted in quotes of entertainment - 8 replies

star wars III

2005-06-09T21:53:37Z

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=episode3

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

high school

2005-06-07T21:31:10Z

Why are you late?
Because the bell rang before I got here.
High School High

"Having some pizza and learnin about Cubans"

This is U.S. History, I see the globe right there.
Fast Times At Ridgemont High

"So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book when, shouldn't it be the other way around?"
10 things I hate about you

You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat-ass!
Why the fuck not?
Eric!
Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Stanley!
Fuck!
Kenny!
What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
How would you like to go see the school councelor?
How would you like to suck my balls?
South Park

Hippie Teacher/Counselor: Whether or not a teenager decides to kill themselves is the biggest decision of their life.
Heathers

See, this is a school. And we have students and they check out books and then they learn things.
I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Buffy

posted in quotes of entertainment - 12 replies

Coen Brothers

2005-06-06T22:30:39Z

O Brother, Where Art Thou?:

Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, of course there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete. But the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail and he carries a hay fork.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 11 replies

American Beauty

2005-06-06T21:52:50Z

Look at me. Jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day.

You ungrateful little brat! When I was growing up, we... lived in a duplex! We didn't even have our own house!

posted in quotes of entertainment - 9 replies

Drugs-n-booze

2005-06-06T20:22:14Z

We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine and a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. But the only thing that worried me was the ether. There is nothing more irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we would be getting into that rotten stuff sooner or later. -Leaving Los Vegas

All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine. -Fast Times at Ridgemont High

We don't have beer. Just tequila.

What's tequila?

Uh, it's like beer
-Three Amigos

posted in quotes of entertainment - 11 replies

Swingers

2005-06-06T04:47:28Z

We're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking for one party and then leaving 'cause it sucks, then we're gonna look for this other party you heard about. But, Trent, all the parties and bars, they all suck. I spend half the night trying to talk to some girl whose eyes are darting around to see if there's someone more important she should be talking to. And it's like I'm supposed to be happy 'cause she's wearing a backpack? Half of them are nasty skanks who wouldn't be shit if they weren't surrounded by a bunch of drunken horny assholes. I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. I want to throw up. Some fuckin' skank who is half the woman my girlfriend is is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!
- Mike

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
-Trent

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Quotes from your favorite actor/tress

2005-05-12T17:50:57Z

The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper... In all these things, and many more, you'll find America. In all these things, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me.

Audie Murphy

A really cool dude.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 11 replies

Kevin Smith

2005-05-09T16:46:27Z

Kevin Smith explaining how the producer of the Main Event got to be a producer:

"He used to be Barbara Streisand's hairdresser. Because in Hollywood...you fail upwards."

posted in quotes of entertainment - 6 replies

'Punk rawk' movies

2005-05-09T15:36:22Z

Duke- The lights are growing dim, Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am!

Otto- That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk. Just like me.

Duke- It still hurts.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 16 replies

I know "who was Keyser Soze"

2005-04-22T07:44:10Z

Scott B. Morgan .... Keyser Söze Un-credited The flashback guy

posted in quotes of entertainment - 6 replies

Shaun of the dead

2005-04-12T18:45:55Z

What's up, niggas?

Phillip, have you still got the child-locks on?

Philip: Safety first, Shaun.

It's on random.

Witnesses' reports at best are sketchy, but one unifying detail seems to be that the attackers in many instances appear to be...
- dead excited to have with us here a sensational chart topping...

There is no "I" in "team", but there is an "I" in "meat pie." And meat... is an anogram... of team.

Well, your mom rang about getting around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mom rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.

Shaun: WHAT?

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Playing by Heart (1998)

2005-03-28T05:55:34Z

had to just post it in one shot it was so good.

Joan: Talking about love is like dancing about architecture.

[Fumbling on a date]
Meredith: As you can see I'm not very good at this.

Trent: You're charming.
Meredith: Wow.
Trent: Yeah I know, the flowers are a little much, but I'm late. But only because I had second thoughts about the flowers and threw them away halfway down the block. Then had third thoughts and went back and got them.

Keenan: That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.
Joan: She's an angel.
Keenan: She only has one eye.
Joan: Yeah, but it's her good one.

Paul: Don't look at me with that tone of voice.

Keenan: What did I ever do to deserve you?
Joan: Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.

Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.
Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.

Meredith: I have a hard time trusting men.
Trent: I'm not men. I'm not a group. I'm just me.

Meredith: I'll tell you what I don't want. I don't want all this calculated artificiality. This dress, these stupid little bows in my hair, they aren't me. I mean, look at you. You - you don't sit around your house in an Armani suit, do you?
Trent: No. My house is black-tie.

Hannah: And you really didn't sleep with her?
Paul: No, of course not.
Hannah: And - you didn't want to sleep with her.
Paul: Oh, God, yes.

Paul: You're overwrought.
Hannah: I'm perfectly wrought. Given the circumstances, I'm even a little underwrought.
Paul: There's no such word.
Hannah: There is now.

Paul: You know, I never knew what happiness was until I married your mother. And by then it was too late.

Joan: You can't treat people the way you treat them and then say something adorable like that.

Keenan: I can't stop thinking about you.
Joan: I love conversations that start with the guy saying "I can't stop thinking about you." Mind you I've never actually been on the receiving end of any of those conversations...

Keenan: Just looking at you makes me happy.
Joan: I have - I have to sit down.
[almost knocks over the chair sitting down]

Keenan: When we're together, whether or not I show it, I just can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. But right now I need to ask you to do something for me.
Joan: Anything.
Keenan: Shut up.

Joan: When was having sex or not having sex not a problem?

Keenan: You're terrific, sensational really, but I'm not right for you.

Trent: You know I'm not just asking you to dinner as a pre-emptive strike against litigation. I'm asking because...
Meredith: I'll have dinner with you.
Trent: What changed your mind?
Meredith: Anyone who can say 'preemptive strike against litigation' with a straight face deserves a dinner companion.

Joan: I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.

Joan: Blanche can look at you with a gaze of unflappable superiority that springs from total detachment and disinterest... not unlike how you're looking at me know.

Joan: The lad doesn't say much and when he does, he finds just the right words to crush my soul.

Keenan: This... isn't anything. It's not anything now and it won't be anything ever.
Joan: WOW. Message received, end of date.

Joan: I feed the fucking thing. I take her to the vet, all you do is pet her twice a day... which is a HELL of a lot more than you've been doing to me lately.

Joan: You don't say much, do you?
Keenan: Does anyone when they're with you?

[On the Phone]
Joan: What, is that a rhetorical question? Why is my life so complicated? Gee, I don't know. Why is your life so fucking simple?

Max: I uh... I like your tight body. It looks like it would do what I tell it.
Joan: What?
Max: I said...
Joan: No, I heard what you said. And I'll admit 'What?' was a rather banal, cliché, noncolorful response. What I really meant to say was: 'Why don't you do the world a big fat fucking favor and crawl back into your mother's womb?'

Meredith: Well, That doesn't take long does it?
Trent: What doesn't?
Meredith: I mean, you turn a guy down a-and WHAM. he just metamophoses into an anger ball.
Trent: An 'Anger ball'?
Meredith: See.

Joan: No, no, STOP. I've waited my entire life for somebody that I cared about to tell me they loved me and if you think you're getting out of this car now, you're INSANE.

Joan: Last time I saw Gary he was wearing a blue sweater and an idiotic expression. The sweater was new.

Keenan: My mind has an endless capacity for useless information.

Max: Some girls like you to say things like that to them.
Joan: Some girls like you to take a dump on them. I'm neither one of those girls.

Meredith: Look, Trent, you're a nice guy, I don't...
Trent: [groaning] Oh, oh, that's - you know...
[heading for the railing]
Trent: I'm swimming to shore, you can call the Coast Guard.
Meredith: Oh, come on!
Trent: Nice guy? That's - I haven't been dismissed with that since high school!
[pause]
Trent: Does that mean no second date?

Joan: [to waitress] I'll have a vodka martini, very dry, straight up. three olives, and... my sullen friend here will have...
Keenan: A Coke.
Joan: The poster boy for designated drivers will have a *Coke.*

Mark: This is a hell of a way for you to find out.
Mildred: Find out what?
Mark: Well, that I'm gay for one thing... come on, you never suspected?
Mildred: You were always so good at sports.
[They laugh]
Mildred: So what's the other thing?
Mark: What other thing?
Mildred: You said "that I'm gay for one thing" so what's the other thing?
Mark: That I'm dying.

Paul: Well if I have to wear a tux, she has to wear a bra.

Lana: That was quite a story. Right entertainin', but Sugar I don't know who you think you're foolin'
Hugh: What do you mean?
Lana: Lana may be three sheets to the preverbial wind, but I don't believe a single word coming out of your pretty, straight, little mouth.

Lana: I may be a fabulous looking broad, but I got a penis. This ain't no disco and I don't want no crying game.

Mildred: Truth be told when he died, I felt relieved more than anything else.
Mark: [still totally shocked] Gee Mom, don't hold anything back.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

love

2005-03-28T01:48:37Z

When they ask me what I liked best, I'll say it was you.

- City of Angels (1998)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

shakerspeare and the like

2005-03-21T20:22:32Z

I know this will go down like a big, fat turd but...

"words words words. Once, I had the gift. I could make love out of words as a potter makes clay."

"It's as if my quill is broken. As if the organ of my imagination is dried up, as if the proud tower of my genius has collapsed."

Fennyman: A moment, sir!
Alleyn: Who are you?
Fennyman: I am the money!
Alleyn: Then you may remain so long as you remain silent.

-Shakespeare in Love

posted in quotes of entertainment - 13 replies

Crazy People

2005-02-28T16:25:35Z

Rebecca: Oh look, there he is.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane, or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.

Ghost World

posted in quotes of entertainment - 7 replies

Theme: you are an idiot

2005-02-23T16:55:51Z

You wanna say something?

Yeah! About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand it all.
-Mallrats

The slightest thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

The only word they know is "unh," and they don't know how to spell it.
-Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know.

To read makes our speaking English good.
-Buffy the VS TV show

posted in quotes of entertainment - 17 replies

To Hunter S

2005-02-22T16:06:38Z

Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Hi sir, it's Harris from the Post. Can I get you anything sir?
Candidate: How's the family Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Oh the family, well that's bad news. The screwheads finally came and took my daughter away. Let me ask you a question sir, what is this country doing for the doomed? There are two kinds of people in this country, the doomed and the screwheads. Savage tribal thugs who live off their legal incomes, brow deep out there; no respect for human dignity. They don't know what you and I understand, you know what I mean.
Candidate: You ever play football, Harris?
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson: Yes sir, thank you sir. I played in college, and they're gonna get your daughter too sir. I've heard their rallies, they like Julie but Tricia... and they really hate you sir. You know that one and a half of the State Senate of Utah are screwheads. You know I was never really frightened by the bopheads and the potheads with their silliness never really frightened me either, but these goddam screwheads, they terrify me. And the poor doomed, the young, and the silly, the honest, the weak, the Italians... they're doomed, they're lost, they're helpless, they're somebody else's meal, they're like pigs in the wilderness.
Candidate: Come here Harris, come here. Fuck the doomed!

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

I don't love you, damnit

2005-02-20T07:09:42Z

Alice Hunt : And what makes you think that he has feelings for me?
Lucius Hunt : The way he never touches you.

Ivy Walker : Sometimes we don't do what we want to do because we're afraid that other people will know that be want to do them.

- the Village

posted in quotes of entertainment - 7 replies

Battle of the sexes

2005-02-20T07:03:36Z

William: [on asking Kate to mend his armor] Well, they said I was stupid asking you.
Kate: Who?
William: The other blacksmiths.
Kate: Because I'm a woman?
William: No, that said you were great with horseshoes, but shite with armor. Being a woman never entered into it.

Wat: I don't understand women.
Chaucer: Nor do I. But they understand us. Well, maybe not you.

Chaucer: There she is, William! The embodiment of love! Your Venus!
William: Yes, how I hate her.

A Knight's Tale

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Addams Family & Addams Family values

2005-02-20T01:26:57Z

Glicker's mom: $6000 dollars for summer camp and he's mr. woo-woo.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

Funny Horror Movie Quotes

2005-02-18T19:31:50Z

Anyone Have a funny Horror movie quote? I'll post some when I think of them.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

Coen Brothers movie quotes

2005-02-18T16:53:13Z

Deputy: You find something there chief?

Marge: No, I just think Im gonna barf.

Fargo

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

bad or badly done quotes

2005-02-04T19:51:25Z

It's sublime, dont you find?

Keeanu Reeves( in his best Ted Theadore Logan voice)"Dangerous Liasions"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

ebonics

2005-01-31T20:14:05Z

[Katrina bumps into Honey]
Gina: I think you owe her an apology.
Katrina: I don't owe anybody anything, especially not some section eight, no-rhythm-having club ho. People pay me to dance. Be gone. Whoo!

Honey: We just peoples.
Raymond: Yeah, we peoples.
Chaz: You peoples? Playa, playa, how'd you swing that? I've been tryin' to be her peoples for weeks. Ain't had no luck.
Raymond: I got flow.
[All laughing]
Chaz: I got flow too. You don't think I got some flow?
Raymond: Maybe not as much as me.

-honey

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

A matter of language

2005-01-31T20:00:34Z

Memorable Quotes from
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)
Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
[wrench hits Justin in the face]
Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.
Amber: Justin! I love you!
Justin: I lov...
White Goodman: [hits Justin in the face with a Dodgeball] Joanie loves Chaci!
White Goodman: Go ahead, make your jokes, Mr. Jokey... Joke-maker. But let me hit you with some knowledge. Quit now. Save yourself the embarrassment of losing with these losers in Las Vegas, La Fleur.
Peter La Fleur: Alliteration aside, I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White Goodman: Yeah, you will take your chances.
Peter La Fleur: I know. I just said that.
White Goodman: I know you just said that.
Peter La Fleur: I'm not sure where you're going with this.
White Goodman: I'm not sure where you're going with this.
Peter La Fleur: That's what I said.
White Goodman: That's what I'm saying to you.
Peter La Fleur: All right.
White Goodman: Touché.

-dodgeball

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

war is hell

2005-01-31T15:59:55Z

"Picture a girl who took a nose dive from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down" -Saving Private Ryan

posted in quotes of entertainment - 16 replies

The Tick

2005-01-29T14:55:40Z

You're on a first name basis with lucidity, little friend. I have to call it Mister lucidity... and that's no good in a pinch.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Adam Sandler movies

2005-01-25T07:13:15Z

Sure he's the same in all of them, but they have a lot of great lines . . .

Happy Gilmore

- I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
- You eat shit for breakfast?

- Yeah, and Grizzly Addams had a beard
- Grizzly Addams DID have a beard

- The price is wrong, bitch!

- Go home ball! Why don't you wanna go home??

Billy Madison

- Oh, I see how it is. So sorry to interrupt. Proceed.

- Hey, remmeber that game Marco Polo?
- Yeah, marcoooo
- Polooooo

- T-t-t-t-today junior!

- Rirrudo?
- Those are Z's
- They look like R's to me
- It's not fair! He's a player. I hate you! I hate all of you!
(Methinks I'm missing a line in that one ^^)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 16 replies

The Simpsons

2004-11-22T16:20:25Z

Willie: This little boy has a gift! He has the Shinning.
Bart: Don't you mean "Shining?"
Willie: "Shinning", Lad. You want to be sued?
Bart: Right, the Shinning.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Famous music quotes

2004-11-17T21:04:57Z

Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of woman.
~ Ludwig Van Beethoven

If music be the food of love, play on.
~ Shakespeare, Twelfth Night

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley -

"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it."
- John Lennon -

"And I swear that I don't have a gun..."
-Kurt Cobain-

Music melts all the separate parts of our bodies together.
--Anais Nin

Don't ask me, I don't know
-Ozzy Osbourne

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

Star Wars: A New Hope

2004-11-13T00:46:28Z

favorite Episode 4 quotes....

LEIA: The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 21 replies

The Silence of the Lambs

2004-11-10T20:53:28Z

Hannibal Lecter: You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desparately to shed? Pure West Virginia.

http://www.pitt.edu/~schach/dgresh/lambs/rube.wav

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Southpark TV show

2004-11-10T07:39:17Z

"Ok, screw you guys. I'm going home. Talking poo is where I draw the line." -Eric Cartman

posted in quotes of entertainment - 25 replies

John Cuzack Movies

2004-11-02T17:42:30Z

Joe, she's written 65 songs about you, and they're all about pain.

-say anything

posted in quotes of entertainment - 19 replies

foreign films

2004-11-02T04:09:34Z

"for one not known for your over-usage of words...you don't half pick them, do you?" - Little Voice (Scottish)

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

flatulence

2004-10-18T23:04:19Z

you think that farts are a sophisticated form of comedy, but they're not.
-South Park

I fart in your general direction.
-Monty Python

posted in quotes of entertainment - 10 replies

Music

2004-10-18T17:02:02Z

Jimmy Rabbitte : What do you play?
Failed Drug Buyer : I used to play football in school.
Jimmy Rabbitte : I mean what instrument.
Failed Drug Buyer : I don't.
Jimmy Rabbitte : Then what are you doing here?
Failed Drug Buyer : Well, the line was so long I thought you were selling drugs.

Is this the band then? Betcha U2 are shittin' themselves.

Jimmy Rabbitte : Elvis isn't soul.
Jimmy Rabbitte, Sr. : Elvis is GOD.
Jimmy Rabbitte : Well, I never pictured God with a fat gut and a corset singing "My Way" at Caesars Palace.

[talking about kicking Ray out of the band]
Jimmy Rabbitte : How did Ray take the news?
Derek : Not too bad. Said he was goin' solo.
Jimmy Rabbitte : He doesn't have much of a choice, does he?

Outspan Foster : There's a band around called "Free Beer". Always draws a big crowd.
Derek : I like "A Flock of Budgies".
Jimmy Rabbitte : We have to be "the" something. All the great sixties bands were "The Somethings".

The Commitments

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

Shanghai Knights

2004-10-13T00:45:50Z

I don't know where this came from, I thought I saw the only movie with both Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson in it. I hate OWen Wilson. He's just so a male blonde airhead.

But I liked this movie ten times more than the other one they did.

I really like martial arts. I like it because the blocking is like dance choreography and patterns like that make me happy for some reason.

One thing to totally be happy about this movie is every guy in it was eye candy, except Jackie. That was one thing I thought was strange...it's full of really hot, steal the scene type of guys...the bad guys...the good guys... the cops...all were hot. I suppose even Wilson has his moments, but I'd choose his brother Luke over him any day. I think that's strange because Chan's movies usually all center on his choreography and wit...and everyone else in this stole those moments. Even in the end, the fight...he basically looses the last fight; he gives up by cheating, begging for a manly last change with the sword and cutting the ropes until they both almost fell.

Even so, though I loved the movie. It was funny, it was a GREAT cast...the little British boy was a scene stealer as well as was Chan's character's sister...vavoom.

I didn't believe for a second she would fall for Wilson's character as fast as she supposedly did. Damn Western hook-ups in their pictures.

It's cool though; Screw whomever said most movies suck. Even if you agreed, Hek. There were all these mistakes in the movie, but it totally did not suck.

My ex used to say this great thing. There are movies that suck and there are movies that are great; and then there are movie that you can at least say...well, it 'didn't suck.'

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

When Chevy was funny...

2004-10-12T23:39:03Z

Alan Stanwyck: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.
Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
Alan Stanwyck: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
Fletch: Yeah, I assure you.
Alan Stanwyck: One thousand just to listen. I don't see how you can pass that up, Mister... ?
Fletch: Nugent. Ted Nugent.

-Fletch

posted in quotes of entertainment - 9 replies

Blues Brothers

2004-10-09T19:04:55Z

- So what kinda music do you play here?
- Both, country and western.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 5 replies

play with words

2004-07-16T17:38:31Z

Security Officer: I'm sorry, but you're not on the guest list.
David Addison: That's because we're not guests. We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose.
Security Officer: A mole on his nose?
Maddie Hayes: A mole on his nose.
Security Officer: [to Maddie] What kind of clothes?
Maddie Hayes: [to David] What kind of clothes?
David Addison: What kind of clothes do you suppose? Security Officer: What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?
David Addison: Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, that this man that we're seeking with the mole on his nose? I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself.
Maddie Hayes: How do you do that?
David Addison: Gotta read a lot of Dr. Seuss.
Security Officer: I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone at all of that sort. Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose. So get away from this door and get out of this place, or I'll have to hurt you -- put my foot in your face.
-Moonlighting 1985

posted in quotes of entertainment - 6 replies

IMdB

2004-07-15T20:46:36Z

Please go back over the threads and add to them! Make your own, too?

Not sure how to find quotes from your favorite movies?

http://search.netscape.com/ns/boomframe.jsp?query=movie+quotes&page=1&offset=3&result_url=redir%3Fsrc%3Dwebsearch%26requestId%3Da3f9ab42d99a746c%26clickedItemRank%3D1%26userQuery%3Dmovie%2Bquotes%26clickedItemURN%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.imdb.com%252FSections%252FQuotes%252F%26invocationType%3D-%26fromPage%3DnsBrowserRoll%26amp%3BampTest%3D1&remove_url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.imdb.com%2FSections%2FQuotes%2F

cheers!

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

sitcoms

2004-07-15T18:36:46Z

Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?

You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.
I went out with you.
That's because my standards are too low.

-Seinfeld

If you wear something blue, you get $2 off a giant blue margarita.

You know, I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.

I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.

- Sports Night

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.

Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

-Buffy the Vampire Slayer

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

igby goes down

2004-06-29T19:42:44Z

igby: he goes to yale where he majors in neo-fascism.
brother: i major in economics.
igby: semantics

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

Movies so far, 2004

2004-06-27T01:05:53Z

Bob: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids.
Charlotte: It's scary.
Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.
Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that.
Bob: Your life, as you know it... is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk... and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.
Charlotte: That's nice
-Lost in translation

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Shrek movies

2004-06-20T19:29:55Z

Puss-in-Boots: I am puss... In boots...
[cough - hack - cough]
Puss-in-Boots: Hairball...
-Shrek 2

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

glengarry/glenross

2004-06-17T19:56:38Z

see this watch? it's worth more than your car.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

how does it go?

2004-06-10T22:55:17Z

Hey, I'm lazy and don't feel like searching for it.

what the quote for Encino Man, when Pauly Shore is doing the food groups in the snack aisle?

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

Jim Carrey

2004-03-30T01:17:34Z

Max Reid: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.

LIAR LIAR

posted in quotes of entertainment - 3 replies

Dramas

2004-03-24T07:03:20Z

And it's not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you.

Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?

I promised her my eternal love, and I actually thought that for a couple of hours

Dangerous Liasons

" I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it."

-City of Angels

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement."

-Joe Versus the Volcano

posted in quotes of entertainment - 0 replies

American Psycho

2004-03-23T15:42:57Z

Patrick Bateman: I always use an after-shave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing "protective" lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping you and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

Chris Farley

2004-03-11T23:25:30Z

"Brothers don't shake hands, brothers gotta HUG!!!"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 11 replies

Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind

2004-03-09T21:28:06Z

- Wait a minute, you can't be in charge here, you're not even american.

posted in quotes of entertainment - 1 reply

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

2004-03-07T17:35:55Z

Han: Keep your distance, though, Chewie, but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance.
Chewie: Rawrl!
Han: I don't know, fly casual.
Chewie: Mmmm!

posted in quotes of entertainment - 4 replies

You ugly

2004-03-07T00:09:17Z

Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not.
- full monty

Veronica, you look like hell.
Thanks, I just got back.
-Heathers

I'd say, "Kiss my ass." But considering your status, I will say, "Slurp my butt."
- hudson hawke

posted in quotes of entertainment - 2 replies

Fight Club

2004-03-04T00:42:14Z

Sorry, had to post this.. it has to be one my favorite quotes ever!

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world"

posted in quotes of entertainment - 12 replies